I’m not a witch. I just see things differently. I’m fascinated by objects who have their own light.
I buy, collect, and place them wherever I can find space in my home. They are my natural illuminators.
Another thing I like is water. It is magical, manipulative, and melodious. All three qualities resemble me.
That is why my house is representative of sea life. From corals, seashells to my glass waterfall, I have designed it to appease my water element which feels upset if I don’t give it enough attention.
Earlier my home was pretty airy and spacious but it didn’t satisfy me. I realized far too late that air made me dry and extremely thirsty all the time.
When I started having dreams about oceans and seas, I subconsciously started to remodel my life. Now everywhere I look, I’m reminded that I’m a creature of the sea who happens to have human legs.
The books came next. I own a little library on how to give a meandering mind a path to follow. The more I focus my mind, the more it obeys me.
I close my eyes and call forth a wave within. It flows at the center and smoothly travels outside. It picks up a book of my choice and holds it open for me to read.
The very first line reads, “There is an honesty in water but if you go too deep, you’ll forget who you are.”
I shiver in anticipation. I am roaming on the surface for now but the desire to swim deep doesn’t let me sleep. The dark waters call me and I’m not afraid of letting myself go.
But who will I lose if I let myself go? This question pulls me back every time I take a step forward.
So, I sit still and read some more.
“The more you lose yourself, the more you become like water.”
I meditate on it but it doesn’t give me any clarity. I continue.
“And the more you become like water, the call becomes irresistible.”
“Sleep will not come anymore. There will be two beings that will reside in you, the call and the water.”
Isn’t the water, the call? I frown.
“Just like air. It’s in you but it’s not you.”
Why is it talking about air now? I don’t want any distractions.
The book falls with a thud because my focus is shattered. I’m confused. You can’t question when you call the wave. You only accept.
I stand up and feel the familiar upset feeling in my body. I have angered the water again and I will have to bear the brunt of it for the night.
My temperature starts to rise. I feel flashes of hot and cold coming in bouts. No medicine works when this happens.
So, I try to focus one more time.
I call forth the wave. It comes after a while but not so smoothly. I let it chose a book on its own accord.
It holds it open for me. Dazedly, I read the first line, “Don’t test calm waters. It will only do you harm.”
I shiver in fear. I read further, “If it rages, pray to the moon.”
The book again falls with a thud. I run to the window, open it, and look for the moon. But the sky is dark with only a few stars.
I run to the other window in my living room and see only clouds.
I run to my room upstairs and find the same sight. I run to the terrace and shiver in the cool breeze.
It makes me dizzy. I slowly twirl around, gaze at the limitless sky. My temperature rises even further. My body is starting to weaken now.
I slide down to the floor and grip the balusters. The cold surface provides much relief to my hot forehead. I peek between them and find the moon shining on the surface of the sea.
I look up at the sky again and find nothing. But the moon shines bright, it sparkles on the water. I’m too far gone to notice the wrongness of it all and just accept.
I murmur a prayer,
“O, Brave Moon! O, Loyal Moon!
You don’t leave your children in darkness.
Goddess of the night!
Guide me for I have angered the sea.
Press your cooling touch,
Free me from my desires,
This is my only plea.”
Slowly, I feel myself getting better. The melody of the waves reaches my ears and mind. It puts me to sleep immediately.
Even in sleep, I call for the water unconsciously. It awakens the desire of my exploration yet again.
Alas, there is no relief from this back and forth.
I sigh!
Emptyboat11 